I read it in the papers

It must be true

It said Girl Gives Birth to Alien Boy

But do we see a photo of this bundle of joy – no, no

I saw another headline

It knocked me flat

It said Dinosaur Found Alive Today

It's easy when you're talking the rhetorical way

It's what the papers say

You know it's right

It's down there written in black and white – for you

It's what the papers say

You know it's true

They're responsible citizens and would they lie to you?

I saw it on the front page

Whatever next?

It read NASA Plans Sex In Outer Space

No doubt to procreate the human race

They put it in the late news

Well, now hear this

It went Man With Two Heads Learns To Fly

Well, JESUS, but he must have been one hell of a guy

It's what the papers say

You know it's right

It's down there written in black and white – for you

It's what the papers say

You know it's true They're pillars of society and would they lie to you?

I saw it on the newsstand

It shouted at me

It said We Are All Good and They Are All Bad

Well drive me to the clinic, 'cos it's driving me mad

It's what the papers say

You know it's right

It's down there written in black and white – for you

It's what the papers say

You know it's true

They're responsible citizens and would they lie to you?

It's what the papers say

You know it's right

It's down there written in black and white – for you

It's what the papers say

You know it's true