I am reliably informed that my last message was Christmas 2007. I am also given to believe that the distance between Christmas 2007 and Christmas 2008 is 12 months or, as we in the music business refer to it, one year. This is quite frankly unforgivable and you'd be perfectly within your rights to have me thrown to the dogs or, at the very least, stripped naked, covered in golden syrup and thrown to Nigella Lawson. First of all, my sincere apologies to the inhabitants of the village of Little Bedingfield. Due to the onset of an unsightly rash, I am unable to fulfil my duties as the back end of the pantomime horse in the local Operatic Society's production of Jaws 2. Secondly, my humble gratitude to all the staff at ShortHouse Records. Their vision, sense of duty and ability to recite Byron and yodel at the same time have left me awestruck and ever so slightly queasy. Special thanks goes to Maureen in accounts. Her efforts in organizing the Christmas party did not go unnoticed. The stand out moment for me was her re-enactment of the Battle of Sebastopol using only her support stockings and a bucket of crème fraiche. Indeed, she will be receiving a hefty bonus once the buildings insurance has kicked in and she's out of hospital. Fourthly (thirdly was cancelled to lack of ticket sales) my very best wishes to all long suffering visitors to this site and my heartfelt thanks for your continued support. Your 50th birthday messages were all gratefully received. It has been my pleasure and privilege to have been able to perform for some of you this year and I hope to be seeing more of you on my travels in 2009. Seventhly (fifthly and sixthly have been removed on the advice of my lawyers) have a great Christmas. Big love Nik (and the lovely Sarah) xxxx

Please submit any questions for drum talk to drumtalk@shorthouserecords.com

I recently got my copy of the very fine "You've Got To Laugh" album and notice that you had Nick Beggs doing his thing with the Chapman Stick on some of the songs. Do you play 'The Stick'?

Nik: Only in the privacy of my own home. Beggs doesn't seem to care where he whips his out. (Actually, no I don't. There are far too many strings and the whole playing concept is alien to me. I'd find it easier shuffling cards with my feet).

Please submit any questions for drum talk to drumtalk@shorthouserecords.com

Is it possible to release a Remix-CD with all the vinyl-extended-versions? What do you think about these remixes and the whole extended-mix-thing in the 80's?

Nik: It's possible, but I can't say I'd be enthusiastic about it. You write a song that's three and a half minutes long and that's how long it is... three and a half minutes. Then someone turns up and asks for a seven minute version because that's what everybody else is doing. What's that all about?

Have just finished applying a second coat of Danish oil to the floor of my garage conversion/potting shed/ recording studio. It doesn't sound like the most strenuous of tasks, I know, but I can't move my head to the left or walk upright and am currently unable to alight from my Lazy boy recliner without a loud, involuntary grunt. Those wandering, unprepared into earshot could be forgiven for thinking that Anna Kournikova had popped round for some Robertson's barley water and was in the process of executing a forehand smash.

So, of what possible interest could this mean to you? Well, quite possibly none whatsoever, but this does mean that soon I will be able to move my mountain of hugely expensive recording equipment into said garage conversion/potting shed/recording studio. I will then be faced with the task of connecting it all together with the 2 miles of cable currently piled in the spare room. Assuming all the sticky labels are still in place from when I last dismantled it and I'm able to employ the services of the local Sherpa community, this should take me no longer than a few weeks.

I'm lying, of course. If the truth be told, technology has advanced somewhat in recent years. Most of the recording process can be achieved using a laptop plugged into something the size of a box of fish fingers (haddock). On consulting the oracle (ebay) I discovered that my "mountain of hugely expensive recording equipment" had the market value roughly equivalent to that of a large sliced loaf (wholewheat) and so, with a heavy heart and a light wallet, 90% of it has already been dispatched to the nearest available skip. Anything saved was on the basis of how many flashing lights and dials it had.